Let’s face it
sometimes the world of love and relationships can be a total nightmare. Where you find yourself going from one
relationship drama to another, attracting the same kind of man dressed up in a
different outfit. Whilst everyone around
you is getting it right, getting married and having babies you are left trying
to work out where the hell that you are going wrong. You spend your days pondering on what went
wrong in the previous relationship and your nights with your girlfriends
berating and blaming your ex. However,
much of the time the drama lies within and it is only by going within that you
get to the heart of the problem. In
essence you have to be the person that you want to attract.
You see much of
the time when you are seeking love it can be executed with an air of
desperation, as you bow down to the pressure to settle down before your
biological clocking stops ticking. It
can also become annoying and embarrassing to always be the bridesmaid but never
the bride. All of these scenarios and
others like them can instil a fear within you: A fear that often becomes your
main motivator in love. The problem with
this is that the fear leads you to look for love in all the wrong places;
attracting men just like your ex or men that are not ready to commit. All of
these things are symptoms of being led by fear and the ego, rather than by
being led by love and your authentic self.
Learning to
identify whether or not you are being motivated by fear and led by the ego in
love and relationships is key to attracting the love you desire into your life. So, let’s identify and demystify some of
those illusions that our ego tends to feed us whilst we are navigating our way
along the pathway of love…….
Er, hello you
have already met someone special. You
are special.
So, often in
love we put the other person on a pedastool.
In fact when you say that you are searching for someone special you are
putting that person on a pedestal before you have even met them. This not only puts you under a lot of
pressure but also the other person who has to live up to their “special”
label. Hardly fair is it?
The truth is
there is no such thing as someone “special” because we are all equally special
or as un-special as each other. This “special”
label is nothing but an ideal reinforced in the movies and romantic
novels. An ideal that your ego grabs
hold of and rolls with, leading you to think that in finding this special
person you will be complete. You are
already as amazing as you are and you do not need another person to complete
you.
It’s his fault
The fear based
mind never takes responsibility for their actions. When the shit hits the fan it is always the
other person’s fault. The problem with
this is that you negate to see the repetitive behaviours that are leading you
to continually pick the wrong guy or go back to the ex who is soooooo wrong for
you.
At some point
you have to take responsibility for your own actions because it is only by
doing so that you can begin to identify what you need to change in order to
have happier and more fulfilling relationships.
So, take the time to take a look back on past relationships and identify
those limiting beliefs, actions and behaviours that you played out. Then you need to let it go, recognise that it
happened and make a commitment to yourself that you will not let these habits,
for that is what they are hold you back in love. It will take a lot of conscious effort but it
will be worth it and could be the difference between Valentines’ Day coupled up
or single.
You don’t have to control everything
When you really,
really want something, such as a romantic partner you do everything within your
power to make it happen. That guy you
met on a night out with the smelly breath and bad shoes suddenly has ‘potential’
because he has all the other qualities that you are looking for in a romantic
partner. You begin to convince yourself
that Mr Red-Herring is potential that romantic partner that you seek. No, no, no!
Stop right there! The best thing
you can do as a single woman is release all control over your love life to God,
the Angels or the Universe (whatever it is that you believe in).
By exerting
control in this area of your life you are being led by your ego and, most
likely, motivated by your fear rather than love. When you are motivated by love you trust in
God and you believe that He will bring the right man into your life at the
right time.
Be the love you want to attract
It is likely
that you would have heard this a million times before. But it is true that you have to be the person
that you want to attract into your life.
The reason for this is down to the Law of attraction which states that
what you put out you get back. If you
are putting out an energy that is laced with fear and anxiety then you will
attract men into your life who resonate on this vibration. When you feel good and are operating from a
place of love the energy you are putting out is positive. If you want a healthy and loving
relationship, you need to be having this relationship with yourself already.
Ok, so taking
these steps isn’t going to make the right romantic partner magically appear in
front of you, after all I’m a psychic not a Fairy Godmother. However, these steps can pave the way for you
to have a more positive relationship with yourself. Operate as your authentic self and draw in
the right romantic partner into your life at the right time. So, if you are alone this Valentines’ Day
give yourself the gift of beginning the process of releasing yourself from the
clutches of your ego and fear based mind.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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