The Soul Mate Myth

Your eyes meet across a crowded room and, for a moment, your heart skips a beat.  As he strolls over you feel like the belle of the ball who is about the meet her real-life Prince Charming.  He speaks.  You respond, smiling sweetly butterflies swirling in your tummy.   It’s like a scene from a Hollywood movie where the ordinary girl finally meets her soul-mate.  The embrace at the end of the night confirms what you have felt all along: Finally you have met the one: Your soul-mate.

Beautiful isn’t it?  Or is it?  You see anyone who has experienced a soul-mate relationship knows that the happy ending depicted in the Hollywood movies is nothing more than a myth.  It’s an illusion that many of us spend years chasing, only to be left disappointed and heartbroken.   The reality is that your soul-mate relationship will often be the relationship that gives you the most intense pleasure and passion, only to be shattered by the same intensity of challenge, pain and heartache.  More often than not this will culminate in loss. The loss of a love that seemed so true and familiar, as well as a loss of one’s self.  It hardly fits that rose-tinted image of the soul-mate relationship that you have dreamed of or yearned for. 

It is likely that you will have many soul-mates who will cross your path at different times in your life.  They come into your life at a point when you are ready to take the next step on your spiritual and life journey.  Therefore, your soul-mate can be anybody; a boss, colleague, friend, family member or lover.  Despite the different relationship types the core ingredient remains the same, being that they are part of your soul group.  At another time, in another place you would have made a soul agreement with that person to meet again in this lifetime, so that you both can learn karmic lessons.  With this in mind it is important to understand that your soul-mate is only intended to be with you for a short while.  They hold your hand for part of your journey, letting go when lessons have been learned.  This differs greatly from the image of soul-mates presented in the movies and romantic novels, where the soul-mates stay together forever: Making the soul-mate relationship the biggest myth and illusion of all time.

However, soul-mate relationships should never be dismissed.  From all of the pain, the pleasure and challenge emerges your greatest opportunity for growth and spiritual development.  In learning the lessons from your soul-mate relationship you can begin the process of moving on and healing; clearing away those blockages that previously prevented you from giving and receiving love unconditionally.  It is only when you are able to do this that you will be ready to open your heart to the prospect of meeting your true love.  That person who brings out the best in you; loves, supports and challenges you in a way that enables you to be the best possible version of yourself.  

So, how can you use your soul-mate relationships to help you heal and move on, bringing someone into your life is who good for you?  Here are some tips to help you with that process:

1. Focus on yourself 

If your soul-mate’s heart is not open and they are not ready to learn the lessons from this relationship or face up to the truth then you cannot change that.  The only person that you have power over and who you can truly influence is yourself.  So, this is where your focus should be.  Then ask yourself: What are the patterns, thoughts, words and actions that I keep repeating in my love relationships?  What am I learning here?  What do I have to change about myself?  Knowing the answers to these questions empowers you to begin taking responsibility for where things have previously gone wrong for you in previous relationships.  In knowing the answers to these questions you begin to realise that you have nothing left to gain or lose by holding on, arriving at the next stage of the process which is moving on. 

2. Move on

Moving on is often incredibly difficult, especially in a soul-mate relationship where the connection is instant and very intense.  You will often find that one person is more reluctant to do this than the other, with the pull between the two of you being so strong that you have this on and off style relationship.  But part of the process of focusing on yourself is recognising that you need to let go and move on from the other person in order to draw in your twin flame.  In letting go and moving from your soul-mate you are both released, so that you can continue on your spiritual journey.  By holding on you are blocking your own growth as well as that of the other person, causing unnecessary hurt and pain.  Ultimately, this goes against the purpose of a soul-mate relationship which is to come together to learn karmic lessons, before letting go and moving on to become the best possible version of yourself.

3. Forgive but do not forget the lessons

One of the most important things to do is forgive the other person and yourself for the part that you both played in the relationship.  This is especially important if the relationship ended acrimoniously.  When you choose not to forgive, it is as good as holding on to all of the negativity and pain from that relationship, which can create blocks that prevent you from moving forward in your life.  But, in forgiving do not forget you have learned about love and yourself.  The Universe/God/Angels will test you as you encounter new lovers and relationships, sometimes placing you in scenarios, reminiscent to those experienced in your past.  Often this is their way of testing you.  They test to see if you have learned your lessons, moved on and to see if you are ready to be with your twin flame.  How you respond to those challenges are up to you, nobody else.  Your reaction is also symptomatic of whether or not you have learned your lessons.  This will also be a reflection of how ready you are to allow true love into your heart and life.

4. Time to heal

To think that you will feel amazing and ready to fall in love again straight after moving on from your soul-mate is unrealistic.  For many it takes time, anything from 3 months to a year or more, so take all the time you need to heal and fall in love with yourself again.  You may want to take a break from relationships using this time to nurture yourself and focus on your passions in life.  Some clients benefit from spiritual healing, such as Angelic Reiki Healing or other more traditional forms of Reiki.  With Angelic Reiki Healing being a powerful way to clear any blocks and cut the karmic ties that bind you to your soul-mate.  So, remember to take all the time you need to heal.

5. Faith, trust and positivity

There will often be times when you feel as if you made a mistake by walking away and moving on but this is just the ego trying to deceive you.  The trick here is to say positive, keep the faith and belief in both yourself, as well as God/Universe/the angelic realm. This goes hand in hand with the law of attraction which states that you get back what you give out, making it especially important to think positive.  I always say that your thoughts are your silent affirmations so keep your thoughts positive.  In the early stages this will take a certain amount of conscious effort, where you will be actively stopping yourself when you have a negative thought and change this into a more positive thought.  Affirmations are great for this and if used regularly can help you to get into this positive frame of mind.  Crystals are also great at keeping you uplifted and positive, as they harness very powerful energy.  Working with crystals such as Rose Quartz and Green Aventurine are known for their healing and soothing properties, helping to prepare you for love as well as enabling you to nurture those feelings of self love.  Whereas Rhodochrosite, a beautiful rose coloured crystal and commonly known for drawing in your true love into your life, encourages a positive attitude whilst bringing our physical and spiritual self into alignment with one another.  Choose whichever tool resonates with you, reminding yourself that the law of the Universe is that like attracts like.  This means when you are positive and in a place of love you will draw more of this into your life.

Although it seems that the image of soul-mate relationships that you will have been fed all of these years is nothing but an illusion or a myth, it remains true that the essence of the image remains true.  The essence being that feeling of being in a loving romantic partnership with your true love; that person, who loves you, respects you and supports you.  These things are what truly matter. In order give yourself the best possible chance of finding this you need to be true to yourself, you need to take responsibility for yourself and have faith in love in all of its different facets.

Find out more… Finding true love does not have to be or feel like an impossible dream.  True love can be and will be yours.  For guidance on how you can put yourself on the path to finding true love please contact me using my email contact form.

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